A Haunting Past
by sweetcrimefighter
Summary: Detective Bella Swan has a hidden past. When her best friend Alice is attacked in their house, her past comes back and starts to reveal itself. Will Bella be able to stop the bad? Who is the mysterious detective Edward Cullen? Why does he care so much?
1. Chapter 1: Death and Confusion

**_A/N: Yeah, crazy, I know, another story. I was writing a new chapter for Twilight's got Talent when I got this idea and had to write it down. I'll be updating more and more on all my stories, including my new ones. Hope you like this, it's dark, as usual, but different than my other stories, more mysterious, you could say. Enjoy!_**

**A Haunting Past**

**Chapter 1: Death and confusion.**

I walked into the house full of confidence, positive that the evidence would be enough to put this son of bitch in jail for the rest of his life. I had been chasing his sorry ass for 8 months now, ever since the first victim. His victims were always female, between the ages 16 and 25. He raped them, tortured them with a knife for several brutal hours, then shot them point blank in the head. No one ever survived. He had killed 5 women, that we know off, before we finally found him.

His name is James Riley, 27 years of age, and bastard from hell. He has light brown hair and is pretty standard looking, if you didn't count the crazed, homicidal expression on his face when you saw him. He was always very careful to cover his tracks, but he messed up after his last victim; she was able to scratch him and we were able to find his DNA under her finger nails.

We were on his trail for a while now, but the fucker kept eluding us. He always seemed to be connected to the victim; through work, social activities, you name it. It seemed he got to know his victim before he hunted her down. His first victim was Victoria Santos, who we believe was the trigger that set him off. She worked with him at the record store, and he was infatuated about her, but she turned him down time after time, and eventually she grew tired of his advances and told him he disgusted her. Three weeks later, we fished her out of the water, raped and brutally murdered. After that, each of his victim shared a close physical resemblance to Victoria, down to the flaming red hair she had.

So now here I was, walking to his living room, where I knew he would be waiting thanks to his psychological profile we'd been provided about his habits, with an arrest warent in my hands. I wasn't worried about him fighting back; the profile stated he would be afraid of powerful females, unable to fight against them, even though he'd want to.

I walked into the living room, and sure enough, there he was, drinking a glass of wodka, watching a porn video. So gross! I stalked toward him and drew my gun; I might not fear him one bit, but I was no idiot. I had been doing this job for 3 years now, ever since my acceptance to the force after my 22nd birthday. I was one of the best - I never lost! I had my reasons to be the best, though no one knew them. No one knew about my past, just as I intended to keep so.

"James Riley?" I asked, already knowing I had the right guy; I'd interviewed him enough. He turned to me, startled when he saw the gun, probably questioning how I got in here. Sure, I could have just rung the doorbell, but where was the fun in that? I wanted to shock them when I called out their name and whatever bastard I was after then turned to me and gulped as they saw the gun. It was an unusual arrest tactic, but nobody gave me grief over it - as I said, I am the best!

"Yeah?" He asked, slurring the word - he was drunk, that much was obvious.

"I have a warrent for your arrest for the murders of Victoria Santos, Annie Garner, Susan Willis, Sarah Moore and Annabel Freeman." I pulled him to his feet; he was too dazed to form a responce, shocked that we had found him, obviously and cuffed him, reading him his rights.

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense. Do you understand the rights given to you?" I asked the Miranda rights, hating to provide them, but knowing if I did not the case could go down the drain, I could NOT afford that. He nodded, still dazed as I took him with me for further questioning at the station, hoping to get him to confess.

***

James had refused an attorney, vowing he had nothing to do with the murders so he had nothing to hide. After 6 very long hours of us telling him of the evidence we had against him and us knowing the reason why he did it, he cracked. He told us every gruesome detail, revelling in his work, not a bit of sorrow in his tone. He wrote the confession down; there will be a hearing, but I doubt it would come to a trial, since we had his confession. He was going down and he fucking knew it!

So now, I was at the local police bar, having a drink - by myself, I hated company - celebrating my new victory when I got a call. My cheeks flushed a crimson red, as they always did when I was embarrassed, when my ring tone sounded through out the bar. It was the ringtone for my best friend, Alice Brandon, also my roommate. She lived with me in my house, allong with her boyfriend, Jasper Whitlock, who was a good guy. Reserved and quiet, but very caring and gentle.

_'I guess they know I'm bad, bad  
I got a problem,  
gimme the money_

Shopaholics what they call'em  
my addiction, my prescription,  
gimme shoes and give me bags,  
How much you want, I need 'em bad'

I tried my quickest to find my cell phone in my purse, where it was always buried when I was off duty, but I was not fast enough as I heard the snickers of others around me, responding to the tone.

"Damnit Alice," Cursing the ringtone she put in the phone for her. I smiled when I found it and picked up.

"Hey Allie, what's up?" I asked, using my nickname for her, smiling. She didn't know about my past either, but she knew enough to know it was bad and she always supported me throughout everything. She had been my best friend since I was 16, always trying to drag me with her on shopping trips.

My expression turned dark when all I heard were quiet sobs on the other side of the phone, allerting me that somerthing was very wrong. Alice hardly ever cried, she was always cheery and the most brave person I knew.

"Alice, what's wrong?" I asked, turning very serious, almost using my official on duty, detective tone. A few other officers close to me turned their heads, curious as to what was happening. Again, all I heard were her sobs.

"Alice, speak to me! What's wrong?!" I asked, more loudly this time, drawing more attention. Something was terribly wrong and I did not know what. Finally, she bagging to speak; it was one word, but it was enough to put me back on duty for the night, officially.

"D-d-dead," she stuttered, crying even harder. My eyes widened in recognition. Someone was dead. Who? Was it Jasper? Please god, don't let it be him, don't let Alice suffer like that!

"Alice, who's dead? What are you talking about?" As I said this, the music cut off and every fucking officer in the bar was looking at me, hesitant, waiting for some kind of action.

"A-A-Angela W-W-W-Weber," She uttered and I was confused. Angela Weber was a girl I had gone to high school with back in Forks, she had been my only friend before Alice moved to Forks. The three of us were close then, but I had hardly heard from her in 7 years, ever since Alice and I moved to L.A.

"Sweetie, what are you talking about?" I asked, more softly now; sure, Alice could be sensitive, but why would she be freaking out over someone we hadn't had contact with for so long, dying? It didn't make sense.

"Downstairs... body... d-dead," Alice said, more clearly this time, more determined. My breath caught in my throat. Angela Weber was laying dead in my house?! What the fuck?!

I didn't ask more about the body, I knew enough. I signaled the bartender, a former cop himself, to give me a pen and paper. I wrote down my adress, the message Alice gave me and motioned for him to send a unit over to the house. Still, I was pretty close, I had to leave now, but I knew better than to go by myself, incase someone else was in the house.

"Alice, where are you now?" I asked, knowing she'd be alone - Jasper worked late hours most of the times.

"I-I'm in my r-room; I l-locked the door. I-I'm scared Bella," She sobbed and I sighed a breath of relief, of course Alice was smart enough to know to lock the door. She lived with _me_, after all.

"I know you are, sweetie, just stay there and don't make a sound. I'm on my way over, I already called for back-up as well. I'm staying on the phone with you till I get there, okay?" I said, she silently thanked me and continued to sob. I didn't need her to talk, I just needed to hear her to know she's safe.

Meanwhile, I had grabbed my jacket, looked around to find someone I knew well to come with me and sighed when I saw my former partner, Emily Young - I worked with a more advanced team now, solving the more complicated murders. I nodded my head at her and pointed at my phone; she got the message and followed me out the bar, to my car instantly. I knew back-up was on the way, but I would get there first.

Emily got her gun ready as I drove, flashing my lights, breaking every speading rule in the book. Emily questioned me about the facts, I told her I had none, exept that there was a body in my house and possible a murderer as well. She knew Alice as well, she had met her a few times in the past, and was concerned for her safety as well.

We arrived at my house in no time, thanks to my crazed, adrenaline enduced driving. I drew my gun as I got out of the car and headed to my front door with Emily. The door was left ajar; definately not a good sign. Alice always closed the door behind her as soon as she entered the house - my rule.

Emily was silent as she followed me into the house; she was familiar with it, had been there a couple times to work on cases with me. As soon as I stepped inside, the smell of blood attacked my nostrils - yeah, it sounded crazy, but I swear I could smell blood, it smelled like copper and sault. It used to make me sick - USED to.

I gasped when I entered the living room; the entire room was covered in blood, and sure enough, on the floor, the body of Angela Weber lay, slaughtered. I had seen a lot, but this was beyond sick and the fact that I used to know her, didn't make it any easier. Also, the scene indicated she was murdered in this very room, in my very own house! On the wall before us, a message was written with Angela's blood, directed to me.

_**SOON BELLA-BOO SOON...**_

I gasped with shock, _no-one _knew about that nickname, not a living soul knew! Not even Alice! I couldn't only think of one person who could possibly know, and the thought almost made me faint. If it hadn't been for the fact that Alice was upstairs, scared to death, I probably would have freaked out, big time!

Carefully and silently, Emily and I slowly made our way up the stairs, to Alice' room, hoping, praying she would be fine. I had disconnected my conversation with her once I arrived at the house, not wanting any sound to allert out presence. I had promised Alice she'd be fine for a few minutes; I hoped she was. I couldn't bear it if anything were to happen to her, NOT her!

When we reached Alice' door, there was blood on it too, as well as another message.

_**NOT YET...**_

This could only mean one thing; he'd go after Alice as well, maybe even Jasper too, just not now. I just had no idea when. I knew the door would be locked and I didn't want to shock Alice by trying the door knob or knocking, so I called out. Confident the murderer was not in the house anymore, but still on my guard.

"Alice, it's Bella. Can you open the door? I'm here now," I heard some shuffling, a turn of the lock, then the door knob. The door opened to reveal a, in blood covered, Alice in hysterics. Had he touched her? He better not have. When she saw me she broke down; her legs gave in and I catched her before she could fall, not caring it would cover my clothes with blood as well. She hugged me and hung on for dear life. In the distance, sirens were coming closer, back-up was coming. Emily was making a call for an ambulance, to be on the safe side; neither of us knew if Alice was hurt or not.

"Alice, are you hurt?" I asked her, needing to know. She didn't look up but I felt her nod against me; I asked her to show me, so she did, slowly. I was seeing red when she showed me the long gash in her right arm, from her sholder to her wrist; that's where the blood was from. Though, I suspected some of the blood on her was from Angela as well, there was just too much blood.

"I'll get you to the hospital, I promise. An ambulance is on its way, you'll be okay Allie," I said, using my nickname for her again to reassure her it would be okay in the end. Though I doubted she would be the same after experiencing this type of horror, no one ever was the same - I would know.

I didn't question her yet, I would wait till she had Jasper with her, she would be more comfortable that way. She cried on my arms for what seemed like eternity, as the house filled with more officers. Once the ambulance finally arrived, they took Alice with them; I offered to go with, but she convinced me I would be of better use here; she seemed calmed now. I walked back into the house once the ambulance drove off.

My lieutenant started to make his way over to me, but I held up my hand, showing my phone, indicating I needed to make a call first. He nodded and gave me some space as I called Jasper.

"Bella?" Jasper asked after picking up on the first ring, immediately cautious; I almost never called him, and never this late. He knew something was up.

"Jazz, don't freak out on me, okay? But, Allie's in the hospital," I said, remorse in this voice; I felt guilty for letting this happen. This was my fault, this was aimed at me, I knew as much.

"What happened?" He asked through gritted teeth; not wanting to show his emotions, but clearly worried for the woman he loved. Alice and Jasper were soulmates, I knew enough to know that.

"Someone attacked her in the house; she's cut pretty badly, but she'll be okay," I said, knowing what question would follow; he needed to know everything.

"Was she..." -he sighed- "...raped?" he asked, forcing the word out. I was glad this was one question I could say no to, I was sure she hadn't been raped. If this was done by who I think, he didn't do rape, besides, Alice would have told me straight away.

"No, Alice would have told me otherwise. She was cut, that's all. She's at L.A. Memorial, you should go. If they give you trouble about seeing her, give me a call. I'm sorry this happened, Jasper," I said, feeling the need to express how truly sorry I was; they would never know how much sorrow I felt for letting this happen.

"It's not your fault Bella, thanks for calling me. Bye," He said, then the tone went dead. I was sure he would be racing to see her right now, but still careful not to get into any accidents; he knew this was the last Alice would be able to afford.

Once the detective saw I was finished with the call, he came over to me, a gloom expression on his face.

"You should get changed, Bella, we need the clothes for evidence," He said, using my first name, something he only did when the situation was bad, which it was. I nodded and went upstairs to change. I cleaned myself up a little, splashed some water on my face and got rid of my blood covered clothes. Unfortunately, when I looked into my closet, I saw that all my clothes were ripped to shreds. Every single last piece. I looked into the dirty laundry, only to find the same fate underwent those clothes as well. I couldn't borrow clothes from Alice, she had a much smaller size than me, also, she wasn't as tall as me - I wasn't tall either, but taller than Alice at least, which was saying something.

Finally, I was left no choice but to rummage through Jasper's clothes and put some of his on; they were too big for me, but they would have to do. Thank god someone invented belts, or my pants would have fallen off. I didn't really care about embarrassing myself, I had better things to worry about.

Everyone looked at me with confusion once I reached the living room, better yet, the scene of the crime. I sighed. "All my clothes are in shreds," I explained, they nodded, mumbling something about how odd this all was. This was not odd to me, not even Angela's gruesome murder. Because, once I examined the scene more closely and calmly, I realized this was almost an exact coppy of the scene that occured so many years ago. The only way for it too be exactly like then, would be for there to be a second body.

"There should be a male body in the basement," I spoke out, my voice sounding forreign even to me. I sounded hollow, dead, much like I did when it happened the first time around. Everyone looked at me again, some wary, some concerned.

My lieutenant spoke up, "What makes you think so?" He asked, I shrugged and told him I'd explain later, but that we had to check the basement first. Six of us, including the lieutenant and myself, made our way down the basement. And sure enough, there was the second body; it was that of Ben Cheney, Angela's high school boyfriend and if I'm not mistaken, he was her husband. It was an exact replica of the scene so many years ago and on the floor, next to the body, was another message.

_**FLASH FROM THE PAST. ENJOY?I**_

I couldn't help myself when I read that message, I ran up the stair, into the bathroom and puked my guts out. I never ever threw up, so everyone was shocked when I did now. Still, I couldn't get myself to care about what they thought, this was all becoming too much.

"We found something!" I heard one of the detectives yell; I cleaned up my act and ran into the living room, wondering what they found. Before, all they found were the bodies, the messages... and me. Nothing more, nothing less. So what more did he leave this time?

"Show me," I replied, authority ringing through again in my voice, I was back in police mode, trying to ignore the fact that this was not a normal case and pretending this was just any other case as usual. Tony, I knew his name was, handed me some gloves, which I put on, then haned me an envelope.

I opened it, carefully, if there was saliva on the seal, I needed to be careful not to ruin the evidence, though I doubted we'd be so lucky. I gasped when I saw the content of the envelope and let it fall to the ground, oblivious to the fact that it fell into a dried up pool of blood. Everyone looked at me as I started to hyperventilate and tears began running down my cheeks.

My knees buckled in and I felt someone catch me before I could fall into the blood; I wasn't aware of my surroudings any longer. I was sinking into the black hole I locked myself in for so many months, years ago, drowning, falling deeper and deeper.

"Get a medic over here!" I heard a male voice shout, faintly, in the distant. I was no longer aware of it.

Inside the envelope, there were pictures, of me, my mother and father. Pictures taken on the night it had happened, pictures filled with horror and blood. Pictures I tried so long to suppres in my own mind, and now all I could see were those images. It was all I could see.

It was my past.


	2. Chapter 2: The Game Is On

**Chapter 2: The Game Is On**

**No-one's POV**

"Listen up! Less than 5 hours ago, 2 people were slaughtered in one of our detective's home. The detective's name is Isabella Swan; one of our best, as you all know. Another civilian was attacked and taken to the hospital in stable condition. This was NOT just a random attack. It was aimed at Detective Swan, so as of now the entire station is on RED alert. These are dangerous times and we need to be prepared for whatever comes next," Lieutenant Jackson finished his speech, adressing the entire L.A. police station in their auditorium.

One of the street cops raised his hand, "What does this all have to do with detective Swan?" He asked, wanting to know the full extend of the case if everyone was to be involved. They had already gone over all the evidence of the murders from earlier that night, though they had no idea why it was all connected to Bella.

Lieutenant Jackson pulled out another folder, an older one, sent to him just a little over an hour ago by the Phoenix P.D.

"Eleven years ago, when Detective Swan was 14 years old, she was being harrassed...," Before he could continue, he was interrupted by a familiar, female voice. A voice that belonged to none other than Bella Swan.

"Harrassed does not even cover it. If you wanna tell the story, tell it right Jackson, or leave it to someone who knows what they're talking about." Every single head in the auditorium turned toward Bella, standing at the doorway, a forced smile on her face. She stepped forward and told her tale for the first time in 11 years.

**Bella POV**

I didn't remember a lot after I opened the envelope at my house, all I knew was that I had passed out, there was no other explanation. I awoke at the hospital, they told me I had been there a little over 2 hours. They explained to me that I had suffered from an anxiety attack - something I knew before they felt the need to tell me. I was discharged and went off to find Alice.

They had sedated Alice, they told me, as I came to her room. Jasper was at her bedside, his head resting on her bed - he had fallen asleep next to his love. Her entire right arm was in a bandage. When I asked, they told me she had to have 64 stitches; I was appalled. I told the nurses to tell Jasper and Alice I had been there and would return as soon as possible.

I called Emily to come get me and drive me to my car. Once I had my car, I stopped at a clothing store to get some women's clothes and get out of Jasper's slightly uncomfortable clothes. The sales lady looked at me as if I were crazy or some sort of fashion disaster and also because I probably looked like shit. I bought some comfortable blue jeans, a grey, long sleeved shirt and a dark-blue hoodie. I didn't exactly look like a profesional police officer at the moment, but I could care less about my appearance. Besides, all my clothes were in shreds, so they wouldn't harrass me about my clothing.

So far, I was doing well until I arrived at the station and realization set in once more; it was all starting again. I couldn't run or hide from it, not this time. He was back and I knew he would stop at nothing to get to me this time. I already knew that this would all end in one of two ways: my death or his.

I took a few deep breaths and headed inside the station - it was empty, exept for a few receptionists there to answer emergency calls. The only reason I could think of for it to be empty would be if everyone was at the auditorium and the only reason that would be was if we were on RED alert. Yes, we were indeed, because of me, because of him.

"Eleven years ago, when Detective Swan was 14 years old, she was being harrassed...," Lieutenant Jackson began to tell my life's story, but I interrupted him. If anyone was to tell it to my respective colleagues, it would be me. This was my story to tell.

I forced a smile on my face and spoke, causing every head in the room to turn my way. "Harrassed does not even cover it. If you wanna tell the story, tell it right Jackson, or leave it to someone who knows what they're talking about." I stepped onto the stage, nodded at Jackson and took the floor.

"It started a few months before my 14th birthday. At first it were nothing more than a few love notes, telling me how cute and smart and lovely I was. I enjoyed the attention, I liked the fact that someone would write me just to tell me how pretty I was," I sighed angrily, still thinking I could have done something to stop it if I had told my parents about it from the beginning.

"No one knew about these letters, I kept them hidden. They were never sent to my house, I always found them in my schoolbag or in my locker or some sort of book. I was stupid to keep my mouth shut for so long. The nice letters didn't last long, however. After about 5 weeks, the letters started getting angrier. They started to frighten me," I said, controlling my breathing. I didn't want to tell this to anyone, but I had no choice.

"He would write angry letters, saying I was a cheating whore and a slut for talking to the boys in my class and ignoring him. I threw all the letters away, I didn't know they could be important in the future. The letters became more angry and I started to fear for my safety. I told my parents and showed them the letters I still had. They, in turn, allerted the police. They informed us they couldn't do much without more information. The case was put on hold and the letters continued." Every cop in the auditorium was hanging on my very lips, waiting to hear what happened next. Maybe they viewed it as some cool, silly, horror story - for me, it was my life, my real life nightmare, horror story.

"Things were set in motion on my 14th birthday. He sent a present to the house. It was a heart, an animal heart, from a dog to be exact. Attached to the heart, was a note saying my heart would soon belong to him. The police became more involved.

"More so called 'presents' were sent to the house - animal parts, human blood, dead roses with worms - you name it, he sent it. Finally, the police got a lead on the case after someone reported a a suspicious looking, young, black haired male snoop around my house. A sketch was made and sent out; Felix Volterra was arrested and charged 6 days later. It turns out he had been stalking me for years, without anyone's knowledge. He had no family; his parents had died in a car accident. He had detached himself from anyone and everyone around. Most people described him as a ghost.

"Unfortunately, 2 weeks later, the judge deemed him a non-flight risk and granted him bail. He dissapeared not 24 hours after his release. Things quieted down for about a month and then all hell broke loose.

"On the night of February 22nd, Felix showed up at the house in the middle of the night. He murdered my parents before my very eyes - the murders of Angela and Ben Cheney were almost identical. He left messages in blood on the walls and ground. He vowed he would return for me. I'd never heard from him again prior to the recent events." I finished the story, leaving out the part of me. I intended on giving the floor back to the lieutenant when I heard someone speak.

"No wonder she's such an anti-social bitch." I saw flaming red then; how dare someone react like that after I had just told them the worst nightmare of my life. I looked to the source of the voice and saw one of my fellow detectives - who sucked at her job and who I deffinately hated - Rachel Andrews, grinning at her own words.

"Actually, Andrews, the reason why I've always been such an anti-fucking-social bitch as you state it, is to keep people from getting their hearts cut up and insides sliced open. I always knew he'd come back; it was a mistake to have any friends after it happened, but I was weak. Angela and Ben were friends, see what happened to them. Alice is my best friend and she's got a nice clean cut to prove it. And if you don't believe me, I got the scars to prove what he could do to you and trust me, you would beg for death if he did only half the things he did to me." Her mouth fell wide open at my outburst and several people sent glares her way, supporting me as they usually did. I may be an anti-social bitch, but I was also there to back up a fellow cop, no matter what, and it was a known fact.

I hadn't intended in saying as much as I did and I felt drained because of it. I wanted to run out of here so badly, but I knew I couldn't - they would need me for this case. Lieutenant Jackson was about to speak again when my cell phone went. It was my general ringtone, for unknown numbers. The song blared through the auditorium.

_'Lord, though I walk through the Valley of Shadow of Death  
Im not scared, 'cause You're holding my breath,  
I only fear that I dont have enough time left,  
To tell the world that there's no time left.  
Lord, please!'_

"Detective Swan," I answered my phone in my usual detached, work tone; I really did sound like an anti-social bitch, though I could care less.

_"Ah, my Bella-Boo, how I've longed to hear that voice of yours once more," _I think steam was coming out of my ears - how the hell had he gotten access to my number?! I motioned to Lieutenant Jackson that it was Volterra on the phone, I put it on speaker and placed the phone on the desk; we didn't have enough time to set up equipment for a trace, so all we could do was listen.

"How the fuck did you get my number?!" I all but roared - how dare he speak to me! After everything he did, why couldn't he have just stayed away! He had gotten off, he was free and now, he knew I would stop at nothing to catch him.

_"Why so angry, Bella-Boo?" _He chuckled; my hands bawled into fists. Every cop in the room was sitting on the edge of their seat, listening intently.

"Don't. Call. Me. That. Fucking. Ever." I pronounced each word seperately, my rage, pain and grief all slipping through. The only persons that were allowed to call me that were dead... because he murdered them. He laughed, loudly - his laughter echoed around the room, sending chills up and down my spine.

_"You used to love that name. Oh, you were such a sweet, innocent girl. Now, you're a scarred, disgusting little slut - MY slut. Never forget that," _He sneered and several people in the room gasped; from what I'd told earlier they had figured out he scarred me, but there were only few people in the world that knew about the rape, and none of those persons were with me in this room, exept Jackson, who I was sure read it in the file.

"I was NEVER yours and I never will be. And don't fucking think for a minute that I'd want to be!" I half-yelled, anger practically blinding me. I never wanted anyone to know about the rape - I'd never even told Alice - especially those who I worked with, and now they all knew. They would look at me differently now, not the way they used to, and I would resent them for it. It was in my past, or, it used to be.

_"Oh, but you are mine. I still remember how it felt when I was inside of you - so tight, so delicious. The sounds you made, your sweet screams, oh, it gives me a hard on just thinking about it." _I didn't see anything anymore, just that night and what he did to me and to my parents, all the things he put me through. The tears spilled before I could stop them. I know they made me look weak, but I couldn't help myself. I was frozen.

_"Tell me you remember," _He edged me on, I shook my head.

"I don't remember one fucking detail, you piece of shit." It was a lie of course; I remembered every damn detail, they were always in my head, in my dreams, haunting me. He laughed, again, sending a fresh round of chills down my spine.

_"Of course you do. I saw you, after. Your dreams are filled with me, you never slept one night without waking up screaming. Even now, you hardly sleep and when you do, you dream of me. You've had poor little Alice very worried, not talking to her." _It was like a killer switch went off inside me when he said Alice' name; he had no right to talk about her, let alone say her name!

I grabbed the phone off the desk in one swift movement and pressed it to my ear. "You listen to me you little fuck! If you come anywhere near Alice, ever again, I'll cut you open from head to toe like the animal you are. You think you can inflict pain, then wait untill I get my hands on you. The game's on - you and me - and there's only one way it can end. And odds are against you, fucker, so, nice hunting!" I snapped the phone shut and threw it against the wall behind me, my breathing heavy.

Every pair of eyes was on me, including Lieutenant Jackson's worried gaze; he had been like a surrogate father these past years with the force, the only one at work I was truly close to.

"Bella?" He questioned, looking at me with worry, sadness and...pitty. I sighed, not him too.

"Don't look at me like that," I stated.

"Like what?" He countered, as if he didn't know.

"Like a victim. I'm not a victim. I'm gonna catch this fucker and end this once and for all." With that said, I turned around and began to walk toward when some stupid ass shit cop stopped me.

"So he did it? He raped you?" Who the hell did this fuck think he was?! He didn't need to ask the answer to a question he already knew! I turned and faced the rookie who thought he was the greatest for daring to ask the question.

"Raped. Tortured. Mutilated. You name it. Do you want me to undress now and show you exactly what he did? Cause I could, it's not like I've got anything left too loose. Chances are, I'll be dead in a few," I responded, venom clear in my voice, though for the rest my tone was dull, lifeless.

"Bella!" Jackson chastised, not liking the way I was talking about dying.

"Face it, Jackson, the fucker is good at what he does. He's good at staying out of the cop's hands and he's an expert at murder. Good chance is, he'll finish off everyone I've ever known first, then kills me. The only thing I can hope for is he gets tired and kills me before he kills more people that were unfortunate enough to cross paths with me," I explained, by which everyone looked at me with shock filled eyes.

I glared at everyone, then walked away, on my way to the hospital to visit Alice, hoping she was awake so I could apologize for bringing her in this mess.


	3. Chapter 3: Not A Victim

**Chapter 3: Not A Victim**

I was both emotionally and physically drained as I walked through the halls of the hospital, on my way to Alice' room. I felt as though every single person I came across was looking at me different, with pitty. It's the same paranoid feeling I had after it first happened. Once I reached the room, I knocked on the door and prayed Alice and Jasper would find it in their hearts to forgive me for bringing them into this mess.

"Come in," The tired, shaky voice of Alice responded. I walked in, shame clear in my eyes. And I couldn't help it, but when I saw Alice lying there, sickly pale, stitched up and clinging to Jasper's hand for dear life, I broke down in tears.

"I-I'm so sorry, Alice," I cried, trying to keep from having a mental breakdown. Both Alice and Jasper looked at me with confusion written on their faces.

"What are you sorry for? You didn't do this to me, Bella. That asshole did, not you. I just don't understand why he did it," My best friend replied, completely oblivious to the facts. I shook my head.

"I did do this to you, Allie. And to Angela and Ben and everyone involved. It's all my fault," I confessed, though they still didn't seem to understand.

"Bella, what in heaven's name are you talking about?" Jasper questioned this time. I sighed and told them the story, only leaving out the parts of what he did to me. At the end of the story, Alice and Jazz seemed to be in a slight state of shock, but quickly recovered.

"Bella, the fact that he did this because of some sick obsession he has with you doesn't make it your fault. If anything, you're the biggest vic-" I cut Alice off before she could go any further.

"Don't." I stated, simple and firm. They looked at me with more shock and confusion. "Do. Not. Ever. Call. Me. A. Victim." I stated, seperating each word with an angry, firm tone. Alice looked at me oddly, then, before she turned to Jasper.

"Jazz, could you let Bella and I have a private moment, please?" She asked, he nodded, kissed her and told her he loved her, she said the same. Once Jasper left, she turned to me.

"Okay, now spill. What are you not telling me?" She asked, her eyes never leaving mine. I looked away, knowing she'd force it out of me if I didn't. She had always known there were things in my past I hid from her, and she never pushed me. But I knew she would now.

"Bella, please tell me. This is going to get hard and you'll need someone to talk to. You're going to need your best friend. Please let me help you," She pleaded and I gasped in shock.

"Alice! You're in the hospital. YOU are the one who's hurt. I should be comforting you, not the other way around," I replied, my voice shaking slightly.

"It's a cut, Bella. It'll heal. And the rest of it, well, it'll be hard to get over. But I have you and I have Jasper. Just like you have me. And I want, I NEED, to be there for you."

I was touched by what she said and again my tears began to spill, falling to the ground. I walked up to her and gave her a hug, careful not to her arm. Again, she told me to tell her. I shook my head.

"I can't. You'll never look at me the same and I could'nt bear that," I confessed, finally admitting why I never told her or anyone. She forced me to look her in the eye.

"I will never, ever, look at you different. You are my best friend, my sister. And I love you and always will. Nothing could possible change that." And then I knew, I saw it through the love in her eyes. To her, I would always be Bella Swan, her best friend. I nodded and began to tell my tale.

"The night he broke into the house, I was upstairs, reading a book. I never heard him come in. I only knew when I heard my mother's scream. I was so scared that I did the only thing I could think of. I hid under the bed. I should have gone downstairs to help them, but I didn't. I just wished the screaming would stop.

"And eventually, it did stop. And, for a second, I thought it was over and I was safe. I was wrong, off course. I knew that when I heard his footsteps come up the stairs. I held my breath when he opened the door, hoping he would leave. He found me and I screamed bloody murder. He dragged me from under the bed and threw me down the stairs. I broke my leg then.

"He had gagged my mom and dad and tied them up. My mom was crying. She and my dad were looking at me with nothing but pure fear in them. I was sure he was going to kill us all right there and then.

"He didn't kill them right away. No, he made them watch first. He made them watch their daughter being violated. I can still smell his scent on me, feel his hot breath on my body every time I close my eyes. It hurt so bad and I cried and begged and kicked, hoping he would stop, though it had no effect on him. The worst were the words he spoke to me while he was inside me." Silent tears were running down my cheeks, but Alice knew better than to interrupt now. She understood I had to do this without any interuptions.

"He told me what a good fuck I was. How I was his whore, his slut and would always be. He told me I was a tease, that it was my fault he was doing this. He told me I smelled delicious, like strawberries. I hated it all.

"When he finished, I thought that was it, that I would die then. I was actually hoping he would kill me, stop the pain. Instead, it all got worse. It all seemed like some crazy horror movie, but it wasn't. He started kicking and hitting me, everywhere. He broke my jaw, 3 ribs, my arm, almost all my fingers, my pelvis. He even strangled me until I was on the verge of passing out, then he stopped.

"That's when he killed my parents. He had brought a butcher knife and when I saw him heading toward them with it, I hoped he would make it quick. He couldn't have done it any slower. He killed my mom, in the living room. I'll save you the details, you saw Angela. He took my father and I to the basement then, and threw us down the stairs. The things he did to him, Alice, it was sick. He cut his heart out. It still beat a few times once he had it in his hands. I'll never forget the sight.

"After that, he had more fun with me. He brought me back to the living room and lighted a cigarette. Honestly, at that time, the smell of my burned flesh was worse than the pain. He cut me with sharp objects, hit me with blunt. When I was close to death, he whispered he would come back for me someday, and left.

"The police came not 30 minutes later. They had gotten an anonymous tip, probably from the devil himself. Apparently, I wasn't supposed to die yet, according to him. I woke up in the hospital 3 months later, still healing from all the wounds. My entire body is scarred, exept for my face. I had to have many surgeries, but eventually my face was back to normal and all that remained were scars on the rest of my body.

"Later, I found out he had left 3 messages on the walls of my old house. All in blood. One in my blood, one in my mother's and one in my father's. The one on my bedroom wall said;

_**AWSOME FUCK**_

"The one on the livingroom wall said;

_**UNTIL NEXT TIME**_

"And the one in the basement said;

_**YOU**__**R**__** HEA**__**R**__**T BELONGS TO ME**_

"After that, nothing was ever the same. I was never the same. I still can't sleep at night. The only thing that really keeps me going is knowing that I am helping to put murderers behind bars. It's the only thing I can do to hope for redemption, for forgiveness," I said and that's when Alice slapt me across the face with her good hand. To say I was shocked would be mild.

"Don't you dare talk like that. Nothing that happened was your fault. You don't need to redeem yourself. This was in no way your fault, and it's time you understand it," She made it perfectly clear that she didn't want to hear otherwise, but I couldn't help myself.

"Wasn't it? I should have done more to save them. He killed them in front of me and I did nothing to stop him. I let him touch me. I let him get to me. I should've done more. I should have died instead of them," I cried, breathing heavily. Alice enfulged me in a hug. Before we could say anything else, a nurse came in.

"Miss. Swan, the police station called. They said they need you," She said, I nodded. I thanked Alice and said goodbye and headed to the station.

***

Just as before, they were all gathered in the auditorium. As I walked in, I noticed Jackson standing at a corner of the stage, conversing with three unknown faces - two men, one female. I couldn't see any faces, but by the way they were dressed and holding their posture, I assumed they were Bureau. I walked up to them.

They heard me approach and turned to me; Jackson nodded. "Detective Swan, there are some people here from the FBI to help with the case," He informed me, using his formal tone adressing me, knowing I wouldn't like it if he called me by my first name in front of these people.

The woman - she was tall, blond and model-like beautiful - walked up to me and offered me her hand to shake. She seemed like a tough lady. "Rosalie Hale, FBI Profiler. These are my partners Emmett McCarty-" -the big, bear-like one nodded as he wore a kid like grin on his face- "-and Edward Cullen." She finished and the agent with the bronze hair and unique emerald green eyes nodded. Instantly, a feeling of recognition washed over me as I looked in Cullen's eyes. I'd seen those before.

Suddenly, I made the connection. I was surprised I hadn't thought of it before. The name Cullen, those eyes, I knew this guy's father.

"You're Carlisle Cullen's son?" I asked, he nodded and stepped forward.

"Yes, I thought you'd recognize the name. You were one of my father's patients once, a long time ago," He confirmed, I nodded. I'd never forget Carlisle; he saved my life, in more ways than one. And then something hit me.

"You should put him under protection right away. He could be one of Felix's targets," I said, Edward simply nodded.

"My father is in a safe location and under very heavy protection. I know the case and how Felix operates. He goes after people who are or were close to you. I put my father under protection as soon as I heard Felix was back," he stated, I nodded. He knew the case, meaning he had studied it, studied Felix, studied me.

"Good. Your father is a good man. He doesn't deserve any of this," I replied, choosing to ignore the fact he and his colleagues probably knew everything there was to know of me.

"Okay, now that that's all said and done, can we start working on the case?" Rosalie stated, a little impatient. I nodded and waited for one of them to start when the department phone rang. Immediately, I knew who it was. We had set up this phone here, expecting another call from him.

I answered and put the phone on speaker. The first thing I heard was my voice flowing from the speakers. A tape of my voice, from a conversation I had not an hour ago.

"_I can still smell his scent on me, feel his hot breath on my body every time I close my eyes. It hurt so bad and I cried and begged and kicked, hoping he would stop, though it had no effect on him. The worst were the words he spoke to me while he was inside me." _I was seeing red; he had taped my converstation with Alice, which means he was in the room at some point, near my best friend. All eyes were on me again, including those of the newcomers; pitty in their eyes, pitty I did not want at all.

I bawled my hands into fists, digging my nails into my skin so hard I started to bleed, though it did not affect me at all.

_"Oh, I knew you remembered that night. It was unforgetable, wasn't it, Bella-Boo?" _He taunted me; I kept silent, knowing it would anger him instead of a response which would only please him.

_"Do NOT igno__re me, SLUT! You will answer when I speak to you, damnit!" _I smirked, enjoying his frustration with me. The more I angered him, the faster he'd snap and come after me personally, I hoped.

_"Answer me NOW, or I'll go right ahead and cut out sweet Kristie's heart,"_ I went pale as soon as I heard his threat; I knew who he was talking about.

_"Do you remember Kristie, Bella-Boo?"_ He asked me, much calmer now that he suspected I would answer, and he was right. I couldn't not answer now.

"Let her go. She has nothing to do with this." I voiced, my tone ice cold.

_"Oh, but she does. She saved your life, all those years ago, in the hospital. Do you remember?"_ He questioned, already knowing the answer. In the background, I could hear a soft whimper, telling me he did indeed have someone there. And since he wasn't known for lying, it was most likely Kristie. And she would die, because of me. Because she was unfortunate enough to have known me at some point in her life. I owed my life to her and now I would end up being the end of hers - how ironic. I couldn't save her in time, it was too late. And every single cop in this place knew it.

"I remember," was my short reply, he laughed.

_"I thought you would. After all, she did stop you from jumping of a rooftop. Ah, you were such good friends after that, until she moved. I'll kill her faster than usual, as a thank you for keeping you around so long,"_ He said, stone cold and the whimper in the background grew louder and more panicked.

"Bastard!" I yelled, slamming my fist down on the table. His cackling, evil laughter sounded through the auditorium, followed by a dead tone - he had hung up. Kristie was doomed; she'd be dead in minutes, probably.

As usual, all eyes were on me, including those of the FBI newcomers. The Cullen boy looked at me with sadness written all over his face.

"Who was the girl?" Rosalie and Emmett asked at the same time, I sighed. I was so tired. Why was I so tired?

"Kristie Sanders. I met her when I was 16. She moved away a couple of months later and I hardly ever spoke to her after that." They nodded and Emmett walked out of the room, cell phone at hand, making a call.

"We need you to make a list of everyone you've ever crossed paths with that you can remember," Edward said just as Rosalie's phone went of and she walked out in the same direction Emmett went. I chuckled a little crazy laugh.

"Well, that's a lot people, most who's names I don't have or remember. Oh, and there's everyone in this presinct. You and your partners. Alice and Jasper will be high on the list, as will you be Jackson. He might even go after all those dirtbags I put behind bars, just cause I got my hands on them. Maybe even whitnesses I interviewed... Should I go on?" I asked, knowing I was being blunt, though I didn't care.

"Well, try to think of as many as you can, anything will help. I have to go brief the Bureau now, but I'll have to talk to you later again. Do you have a cell I can reach you on?" Edward asked, I pointed to the ground behind him, where the bits and pieces of my cell phone lay.

"I got mad," I pointed out, he nodded.

"Understandable," He said before heading to the exit. When he had to pass me, he stopped and whispered in my ear, "Someone as beautiful as you shouldn't carry around such hatred. It doesn't do you just." Then he just walked off while I was standing there with an open mouth.

Who the hell did that ass think he was?! Talking to me like that! God, I hated his guts already. No, it wasn't enough that I had to deal with a psycho killer on my trail, killing people I know right and left. No, now I had to deal with an egotistical, obnoxious SOB as well! Well, if I didn't say it before, I'd say it now; my life sucked balls!!!


	4. Chapter 4: The Video

**Chapte****r 4: The Video**

"Bella," Jackson came to me after Cullen left and took my hands in his hands, examining them closely. My palms were bleeding from when I dug my nails into them before. He looked at me, concerned.

"It's nothing. Just a little blood," I said, ignoring all the eyes in the auditorium that were currently focussed on Jackson and I.

"Are you sure you can handle this case?" He asked me, I jerked my hands out of his grasp and looked at him with a defeated stare.

"No. But you need me on this case. And I need to be on this case. I will catch him and I will end this once and for all," I said by which his eyes widened slightly.

"You're planning on murdering him?" He asked, not really sure if he wanted to hear the answer to that question.

"It's the only way, Jackson, you know that. If I get close enough, you can bet your life on it that I'll shoot him deader than dead. Because if I don't act, he'll kill me faster than you can Jippedidooha," I said, my tone stating that I was not messing around. He was about to reply when the doors opened again and FBI agents Rosalie, Emmett and Cullen, a.k.a. SOB, walked back in.

"Kristie Sanders was reported missing two days ago," Emmett said, gaving me an apologetic glance, which only put fuel to my anger.

"The Bureau called. Apparantly every agent's work e-mail was hacked and they all received a video file. Took them an hour to figure out which case it was connected to. They're sending it to my laptop. I should have it in a few minutes," Rosalie stated as she set up her laptop and connected it to the big screen. Meanwhile, I was trying to figure out what kind of video they would have received. Knowing my luck, it was bad.

"I got the same info," Cullen added, though I kind of figured that one out myself. I saw him look from my hands to my eyes with pitty, but I just gave him my infamous ice cold glare and he looked away, sighing.

"Got the file," Rosalie said and we all turned our heads toward the big screen at the front of the auditorium on which the video would be projected. With a sick feeling in my stomach, I waited for the video to start.

The video began and the first image that appeared was one of myself, sitting under a tree in the backyard of my old home. I was 7 at the time and obviously unaware of the camera filming me.

Suddenly, my mother came in view and I got tears in my eyes. I hadn't even looked at a picture of her since she and dad died. I'd forgotten how beautiful she was.

"Mommy," I whispered, so low only Cullen and Jackson - who were standing beside me - could hear. They chose to ignore it, thankfully. I wanted nothing more than to reach out, grab my mother in a hug and never let go, but I knew I could never do that again, ever. I watched the scene play out before me and I remembered it as if it had played out yesterday. I remembered everything.

_"What are you reading?" _I saw her ask as she plopped herself down beside me. I looked up at her and smiled.

_"Wuthering Heights," _the younger version of me answered. As I looked at myself, I saw a complete different person from who I was now. The girl on the tape was lively and had a light in her eyes, unlike how I was now, barely living without any light inside me.

_"That's a big book," _My mother said, her voice as sweet and motherly as I remembered.

_"It's my favorite. The love between Catherine and Heathcliff is so grand and amazing. But I do think it's sad that they threw it all away because of their own selfish desires. They hurt themselves and many others because of it and love shouldn't be that way. When I grow up and fall in love, I'd never hurt that person. Because love shouldn't be about hurting each other," _The younger me said as every eye in the room turned to me again. Okay, so I was a smart kid, so what!

_"Sometimes I'd think you're 50 instead of 7," _My mother laughed as she hugged me. I smiled as I looked at the younger me's reply.

_"Well, someone needs to be the adult, mom,"_ The younger me said and my mother chuckled. There were several more people in the room laughing.

The scene changed and I immediately knew what it was of. I was crying in my room - I couldn't believe the fucker had been in my room even then - I was 9. The door opened and my parents entered. I felt another sting in my heart when I saw my father's face.

"Daddy," I whispered, my voice cracking. Now, more than ever, wishing I could go back and change it all. I would give anything to have them back. I'd give my life if it meant I could hold them one last time.

_"Bella-boo, do you want to talk about it?" _I saw my father ask and I cringed ever so slightly when I heard the nickname come from my father's mouth. It just didn't sound right anymore.

_"No,"_ The 9-year old me said, giving them the stare - yes, I had it even then. On tape, I saw my father roll his eyes. The tape showed my parents waiting for me to speak, and suddenly the younger me had an outburst.

_"You're going to die!"_ The younger me screamed at my father who looked a little taken aback.

_"What? Who told you that?"_ My mother asked, glancing from my father to 9-year old me.

_"Timmy at school said that he heard his mom say you'd been to the doctor because you're sick. He said you're dying,"_ The younger me stated. My dad sighed and spoke to me in soft soothing words.

_"Sweetie, I'm not going to leave you, I promise. I just had a slight case of the flue, nothing to worry about. I'll never leave you or your mother,"_ He comforted me and the younger me had cried in his arms.

"Broke your promise," I muttered under my breath, so low not even Cullen or Jackson heard it this time. I looked back at the screen and this time the video was showing some sort of photo montage, all of me. The photos were from me, between the ages of 7 and 14. When the photos stopped, a new scene appeared on the screen. It was the one of me, on my 14th birthday and I knew what was coming.

I was opening my presents, one by one, and the one I opened last, made the younger me scream out in terror. I dropped the box and a small - too small to be human - heart rolled out. The few guests all screamed in horror as my mother enveloped the 14 year old me in a hug and my father was on the phone calling the police. The video showed all the guests fleeing, all the so called friends who'd be too scared to come near me ever again.

The next scene was one of me, not long after the birthday event, sitting in class looking exhausted. You could even see that there was less light in me than before. Volterra had filmed this from the outside, probably happy that there were so many big windows in that school. The thought that he had followed for so long without my knowing made me sick to my stomach. I continued to watch as the familiar scene played out.

There was a knock on the class door, the teacher opened it and a student came in holding a small black bag in his hands.

_"Miss Wheaters, this was in the lunchroom. There's a note saying that it belongs to Isabella Swan. The principal told me to give it to her," _The young boy stated and the 14 year old me looked up in fright. I had already known it wasn't mine, and there was only one person I could think of that could have left if for me.

_"Miss Swan,"_ Ms. Wheaters motioned the younger me to come to the front of the class and the video clearly showed how afraid I was, how much I was shaking. The video showed how the younger me, grabbed the bag, let it fall to the ground and how I had fainted. When the bag fell, the contents came rolling out. It had been the remains of a cat, cut in pieces. The video changed scenes again just as all the screaming began.

This time, I backed up a little when the scene changed and I started shaking my head. So far, only Cullen noticed.

"No, not again," I whispered as the scene showed me hiding under a bed, then being dragged from under it, screaming. Where the hell did he place those camera's? There were never any camera's found. Of course, they couldn't have been found if he had taken them with him after that night.

The scene played on and showed how he dragged me out the room and threw me down the stairs. Cullen stepped forward then.

"Rosalie, stop the video," He ordered, she did it and I in turn turned to Rosalie.

"No. Let it play," I stated, surprised by the calmness in my voice when I was anything but on the inside. They all looked at me like I was crazy.

"You're not serious right? Do you honestly want to relive this again?" Cullen asked, incredulously.

"Hell no, but I have no choice. He send this for a reason. He wants me to see this. And I owe it to the people he killed to do everything I have to do, even if it includes watching this," I said, my voice a little more lively for the first time in a long while because I was thinking of my parents, because I'd seen them again, heard their voices again. I owed it to them the most.

"This isn't right," Cullen said, not that I cared what he said, I didn't even understand why he was acting like this.

"A lot of things about this aren't right, I think we've established that already. Now just press play," I said, adressing Rosalie at the end. She nodded and pressed play. I was biting my lip in order to keep from screaming out as I relived the horror again.

The scene continued where it had ended - the younger me crying as I held my broken legs. The scene showed my parents, terrified and tied up. It showed how I tried to get up and how Felix Volterra picked me up and threw me in the middle of the room. The younger me cried out in pain on the video.

The video showed Volterra coming over to me and straddling me. It showed how I had hit him in his face, how he was unfased by it and just hit me in return. I wanted to close my eyes for what the video showed next, but I couldn't. My eyes were glued to the screen.

The video showed how Volterra ripped my clothes off of me, how I had begged with him not to do this.

_"Please, please don't do this. Please,"_ the video showed 14 year old me cry. Volterra just laughed and continued. The video showed how he violated me, how my pleads and kicks and hits were usual, how my parents looked sick to their stomachs as they watched - they could have closed their eyes, but I think they felt they had to watch because I had no one else with me then. I think they wanted me to know that they were with me, willing to share in the pain. I never realized that until now.

The video continued as it showed everything he did to me and then my parents and then to me again. The scene changed again after it showed him leaving me near death, vowing to return.

The scene changed to a scene about a year and a half after the facts and I honestly thought I'd throw up. I now realized what it was that he wanted me to see. He wanted me to see how he had never stopped stalking me, even though I'd thought he was long gone then.

I had just turned 16 and was forced by my foster family - very friendly people - to go to a therapist because they felt I wasn't dealing with it. They said I was acting out and was violent, they were right. Again, this scene had been filmed through a window.

_"How do you feel today, Bella?" _Tanya, my therapist asked, also unaware that we were being watched.

_"I feel like shit, that's how I feel. But why should I care, right? After all, I'm nothing but a dirty whore," _I'd spat out in anger. I was filled with only rage during that period, I remember.

_"Bella, you really shouldn't say such things of yourself. Especially when you know they aren't true,"_ Tanya voiced, trying to sooth me. The 16 year old me just gave her the stare and Tanya backed down.

_"You know what, I don't care what I call myself, what I am. I don't give a fuck about any of it. All I care about is vengeance,"_ The younger me said, venom and hatred clear in my tone.

_"You mean justice?" _Tanya asked, younger me laughed.

_"Justice? As in sending him to jail? No. I mean vengeance, as in making him suffer as much as he made my parents suffer. I want him to pay for what he did to them,"_ the 16-year old me had said.

_"I notice you didn't mention yourself. You don't think he should pay for what he did to you?"_ Tanya asked and I remember that that was the moment she had the breakthrough with me she had wanted since the start. That was the breakthrough that probably saved me from becoming the monster I so hated.

_"No, because I deserved everything I got and more. I deserve to die for what I did. I should have died. I have no right to be alive!"_ The video showed me yell.

_"Why?"_ Tanya asked. One simple word, but it was all she needed to ask and she knew it.

_"Because I'm responsible for their deaths. He was after me because of something I did or said. One simple act caused him to become obsessed with me. Though I didn't mean it, at some point in my life I did something by which he took notice of me. And I swear, if I had known what it was I wouldn't have done it. I didn't mean it. I didn't want any of this. I just want them back. I need them back,"_ The video showed how Tanya simply nodded and enveloped me in a hug, letting me have some time to let it all out.

The scene changed into a montage again, showing hundreds of pictures of me, of me with Alice and Jasper, with everyone I'd ever known, basically. He had never stopped hunting me, he had just spend more time studying me.

At the end of the video, a message appeared, one I had already been expecting. I knew this fucker, after all.

_**'SOON' **_Was his message. The video stopped and everyone looked at me again, pitty, shock, horror, sadness all showing in their eyes and more. And once more, I was frozen. There was nothing I could say or do to make this better for me and everyone else. I couldn't stop this. I couldn't stop him and they all realized that now too.


	5. Chapter 5: Surrender to the devil?

**Chapter 5: Surrender to the devil?**

I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. I felt like I couldn't even breathe properly. I was doomed. Everyone who knew me was doomed. He was going to kill everyone connected to me, destroy what little was left of my heart and soul and then kill me. And I couldn't let that happen; I'd rather give myself to him now and end this once and for all. If he had me, he wouldn't kill those around me anymore. I knew it, and the fucker knew I knew it. I had no choice.

"Bella?" Jackson asked, looking at me with fear-filled eyes, I sighed.

"I don't have a choice," I muttered to myself; everyone, including the three FBI agents looked at me with confusion.

"What are you talking about?" It was Jackson who spoke, again, asking me something he didn't want to know the answer to.

"I have to go to him. It's the only way," I said, looking Jackson dead in the eyes, tears streaming down my cheeks. He, along with everyone else, looked at me with great shock showing in their expressions.

"What the hell are you talking about?! Are you crazy?!" Jackson shouted, which angered me because he didn't understand at all, and which in turn led me to shout back at him.

"You have no idea, do you?! If I don't go to him, he'll stop at nothing to get me, which means he'll kill everyone that's ever come in contact with me. He'll kill you! He'll kill Jasper! He'll kill Alice! Alice, Jackson! My best friend! My family! He already hurt her because of me! I won't let her die too! I CAN'T! And if keeping her alive means I have to die instead, then so be it! If I could, I'd shoot myself in the head right now, but that would only anger him more, so the only choice I have if to surrender," I said, my voice barely above a whisper towards the end.

Jackson seemed to shocked to be able to reply as he looked at my shaking body, my dead eyes and tear stained face. Then, one of the feds spoke, the last one I wanted to hear right now.

"Bella, surrendering yourself to him won't stop this. You know as well as everyone in this room that people like him never stop, they never get enough of the thrill of the kill. Most likely, after he kills you, he'll still go after those you knew, simply because he can. You know I'm right," Edward Cullen said, looking at me with sadness, pitty and something else in his eyes I couldn't quite put my finger on. I sighed, defeated, he was right of course, and I knew it. I had just wished so badly that I could end this sooner rather than later.

I turned around and began to walk away, but was stopped by Jackson. "Bella, where are you going?" He asked, his voice trembling as if he feared my answer, probably assuming I still wanted to surrender myself to Volterra.

"The hospital. He was in Alice' room, she's no longer safe there. I'm getting her and Jasper and bringing them here, until we can find a safe location for them," I answered and then began to walk again when I was stopped, again, by another voice.

"Someone else can get them, we need you here, under protection. You're his main target and you can act as tough as you can, but you alone won't be enough to stop him if he finds you," The big guy, Emmett, from the FBI said. I wanted to argue with him, but I couldn't, I just didn't have the strength, so instead I simply nodded and listened as Jackson ordered a few of the more experienced cops to go get my family - because that's what Alice and Jasper were to me, family.

I was dead on my feet and felt my legs grow weaker beneath me, so I sat down in one of the chairs and closed my eyes, just to drown out all the unwanted voices. The last thing I heard before I drifted into an unwanted sleep was Jackson's voice, "Let her rest. She looks like she hasn't slept properly in months, she needs all the rest she can get."

I really wished I hadn't closed my eyes and fallen asleep, because I talked in my sleep and my sleep was never filled with nice dreams. When I had closed my eyes, I'd forgotten about this, unfortunately.

_"Bella, how could you do this to us?" Dad asked me, hatred in his eyes, directed to me. And I deserved it, I had killed him, after all._

_"I'm so sorry," I sobbed, knowing that not even a million apologies could ever be enough._

_"I hate you, Bella. We both do," Mom said, speaking for her as well as dad as she glared at me. I cried even harder. How could I have done this? What kind of monster was I to be the cause of my parents' death?_

_"Please, mommy, daddy, don't hate me. I didn't want this, I'm so so sorry," I sobbed over and over again, finding it difficult to catch my breath. My parents began to insult me, calling me all the things you never want to hear directed to yourself, but that I deserved._

_"So sorry," I choked out, again and again._

"Bella, wake up," A new, velvet, soft voice interrupted my parents' insults toward me. I recognized it, but couldn't remember who it belonged to.

"Wake up." The voice said again, and this time I obeyed and opened my eyes, staring straight in the eyes of Edward Cullen. I looked around me in confusion as to where I was. Then I saw several cops still sitting in the auditorium, going through paperwork and I remembered everything. I turned my head in shame.

"It's okay, it was just a bad dream," Cullen assured me, but I simply ignored him.

"How long was I asleep for?" I asked, hoping it wasn't too long, that I didn't miss anything important relating the case.

"Just for a short hour. Alice and Jasper are in interrogation room 2, waiting for you," He informed me, I nodded and left to find them. I knew they had to be really scared right now, I was, even though I would never admit it.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Author's note:**_

Hey, all. I know I promised I'd keep updating regularly and not disappear anymore, but there were things I just couldn't walk away from to write a story. My dad got sick, really sick, he almost died. He had to have this massive surgery and it was very touch and go for a while. I've been spending almost all my time with him in the hospital. He's only been home since last tuesday and he still has a lot of health problems we need to be careful off and has 3 nurses a day coming to take care of something still from the surgery. If my dad can get through this next month, through christmas and his birthday (January 1st) okay, then I'm back. If there's another setback, if he dies like they say is still a possibility due to some complications he could have, especially blood clots (he's had them before), then I don't know. I'll let you know at the beginning of January. Again, I'm very sorry, but my family is more important to me than a few stories. I love writing these stories, I do, but they're not the most important things in my life. Sometimes, you gotta set some things aside for more important things, which is what I've been doing these last months. Please bare with me for another couple of weeks, and then I'll let you know the outcome. Then I'll let you know if I'll be back or not.

Lots of love,

Lieselot.


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